Our Living Memorial Of Our Beloved Mother & Grandmother's Life
She will always be missed, but never forgotten.
WENDY SALTZBURG
Our Loving Mother, Grandmother
Wife, Aunt, Friend and Educator
Thank you for coming to this virtual celebration of the life of Wendy Saltzburg. Family and friends were everything to her - she devoted her life to caring about people. She was one of the most generous and giving people that I have ever known; she genuinely felt joy from helping others. She was also a tough lady who could hold her own in any situation.
She touched so many lives. She lived with grace and she left this world with grace as well, fearless and looking forward to her next adventure. She had a heart for children and understood them. She saw children as people and was decades ahead of her time in child development.
She taught - both through her words and example - that we are not defined by our experiences and hardships, but rather how we respond to those experiences and hardships. She taught that our relationships are not about being right, but about being open to compromise. She trusted her intuition and she had a spark of fun and warmth that made people feel instantly comfortable in her presence.
As one of her many adorable quirks, she hilariously managed to close her eyes in nearly every photo taken of her. I've tried to pick the best photos as I know that would make her happy. :)
My Grandparents Instilled in My Mother a Love of Education
Our mother had the loving patience of her father, the strength of her mother
and the intelligence of both combined. She was unwavering and yet flexible,
intelligent and intuitive, and above all, she conducted herself
with the highest integrity in all that she did.
She Was a Devoted Daughter -
Who Lost Her Parents Way Too Young
Her parents, Jane and Lou, were deeply in love and committed to one another to the end. Tragically, Grandma Walton was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in her 60s and passed away not long after. Heartbroken, Grandpa Walton passed away just 7 months later. In all truth, our family was never the same again. Though she put on a brave face, my mother - who was pregnant with my younger brother Mark Saltzburg at the time - grieved the loss throughout her life. She always kept their memory alive through storytelling, her life principles and examples, memorials, donations and flowers.
My mother was very close to her parents, throughout her life. Her father was a World War II veteran who was injured in the war, suffering a serious injury as a young man that left him in pain and in need of a cane for the rest of his life. Struck by the profound death and suffering he witnessed on the front lines of the war, he never complained about anything - including his chronic pain. An icon of integrity, he was patient, kind and known throughout the community as a good man.
He was deeply in love with our Grandma Jane, who was a beautiful, intelligent and talented woman. College educated and an active participant in non-profits in the community, she was a strong woman who helped cultivate my mother into the leader and matriarch that she became. She also was a talented pianist and singer who taught music lessons.
Grandma and Grandpa Jane were a genuine joy to be around. Our mother frequently loaded us in the car to spend Christmas, Easter and many other holidays with them in her hometown of Hollidaysburg, PA. Along with my mom's sister Becky Mauro, her husband Dave, my two cousins Christie and Jen, my mom's brother Stocky, we always had a festive holiday.
Grandma Jane always had a beautiful flower garden where she cultivated all kinds of stunning flowers, which she would pick and make fresh arrangements for in the home. Dinner was set with fresh flowers, sterling silver and beautiful china plates. Everything was elegant and refined, yet there really were no rules for her grandchildren. I could touch anything I wanted, and as a young child, she had so many interesting things for me to explore in the basement, attic and all over the house. She adored my brother and I and always made us feel completely welcome and loved.
A Single Mother - The Struggling Years
Her Young Marriage Quickly Turned Sour -
She Worked in Education and Continued to Work on
Her Master's Degree While Raising My Brother Chris and I Alone
While studying at Penn State, our mom fell in love with Steve, our biological father. From what she described, it was a volatile marriage from the beginning and Steve had serious "issues" - like so many men of that generation who were trapped in a cycle of trauma. A child was soon born - my brother Chris - but the marriage was already on the rocks. By the time I was born, she was completely on her own.
She described the cruel and insensitive things people would say to her as a single mother in the early 70s, but said she was never worried. She trusted everything would work out. Soon after Chris was born, her father helped her purchase what would become our childhood home in Haddonfield, NJ, a place of comfort and stability where we could grow up safely, go to good schools, roam the neighborhood and have many friends and fun times.
We were incredibly fortunate to have that stability and safety.
She worked full time and went to school at night two days a week, but she always made time for us. As an educator and mom, she instilled in me a lifelong love of reading and learning - weekly trips to the library, nightly story times, and a house full of books.
She Was Proud of All of Us We Grew Up
As devoted mother, our mom always made sure to celebrate each of our unique accomplishments and strove to be supportive. One of her favorite saying was, "Children are a gift from God. You have 18 years to do your best to raise them, then you have to let them go and make their own decisions in life." She told me that trust was the foundation of any good relationship, and she trusted our father Michael implicitly. She frequently helped mentor young women in the family, extended family and community, encouraging them both in the careers and families. In many ways, she was the epicenter of a large community of people's lives.
She Was SO Excited to Start Enjoying Grandchildren
Soon after I got married, I fell pregnant and suffered nearly daily migraines as a result of my pregnancy. My ex-husband was frequently working long distance, so I moved back in with my parents during the pregnancy at age 31. After spending several years living far away in Hawaii, it was an amazing opportunity for my mom and I to reconnect as adults and build a totally different relationship - much more of a friendship. She helped me during the difficult pregnancy and was the one who took me to the hospital while I went into labor. Amazingly, Radhika was born on the same birthday as her grandfather Michael (Pop-Pop.) As I recovered from an emergency c-section, I couldn't have been more thankful to have her help and support, which allowed me to focus on taking care of my newborn and recovering from childbirth.
We genuinely enjoyed living together, and would spend the evenings with the dogs, a fire, my mom needle-pointing, and catching up about our days. During my pregnancy, together she and I decided to adopt a stray collie that a friend of hers had found in the woods. "Rocky" became such a wonderful part of her life and she adored him. Like my mom, Rocky suffered many near-death accidents but somehow always came out on top. They had a lot in common. :)
She Was Healthy & Happy Up Until the Last Months of Her Tragic Illness
As She Faced Death, She Was Truly an Example of Faith & Grace
My mother never was afraid to talk about death. Having nearly died twice already, she had made peace with leaving this world. She told me that when she had nearly died many years before, she had experienced that would be going to a beautiful place someday, but that it wasn't her time yet. She used to say ALL the time, "When I die, I'll be ready for God to take me. I've lived a good life, I've raised four wonderful children, and I've been grateful for every single day."
When a simple outpatient procedure to remove a skin cancer turned into what was ultimately a fatal health crisis, we were all shocked. She had been in amazing health, enjoying her grandchildren, walking 4 miles daily, spending time with friends and family and traveling regularly. She quickly knew it was serious and asked for an ambulance. This was our last family gathering, while we thought she was safely recovering from the outpatient procedure and had no idea that she was days away from fighting for her life.
My Personal Tribute to Her: Be Grateful for Every Single Day
And Hold Your Loved Ones Close
In the months after my mother's death, I was forced to confront so many things. I was inspired by how she died and refused to let myself wallow in grief, as I know she would not have wanted that. I used the months after she died to reflect on my own life and to ask myself if I also was living according to my deepest values. I decided to scale back my work at that time and spend more time with my children, to be present with them and really tune in. I focused on helping my father and continuing to visit with my children and try to continue our family the way our mother would have wanted. In the end, I feel her presence every single day by holding true to the values, long with her love and sacrifice, that she embedded in me. I know how proud she would be of all her grandchildren and that she would be jumping up and down (literally) celebrating each and every accomplishment.
Our Family Will Never Be the Same Without Her Presence
While we will always remember her love and guidance, the truth is our lives and family will never be the same in her absence. In my heart, I know the best way she would want us to honor her life and memory for our family to remain true to one another, always stay together and be humble and compromise. So I strive to do that every day.
